hi

nothing is new. I work a lot and study a lot. I go out sometimes when i'm not tired or busy. The appeal of talking about myself in a public forum has gone away, but i DO feel like saying this:

Friendships are worthwhile relationships! They take time, effort, good timing and a little luck. They aren't always pretty and you will be hurt and slighted by them and maybe even bored by them at times but life would be so unsatisfying without them. There can be such things as lifelong friendships. Maintain those friendships! Things that are worthwhile are worth fighting for, y'know? Not all are worth it, i get it, but the good ones are. Like a good pair of jeans, the ones that fit right. You don't abandon them when they fray a little.

anyways, I hate seeing/feeling things slip away.

On an aside: I'm the worst arguer ever. Argue with me and you're the instant winner. Seriously. I'm horrible.

Courtesy of the Yukon provincial government:

"Typically, a defensive bear will stop attacking once it thinks you are no longer a threat. When the attack stops, remain still. Wait for the bear to leave. If you start moving before the bear is gone, it may resume the attack. If an attack is prolonged or the bear starts eating you, it is no longer being defensive. You must now fight back with all you've got! Your life depends on it."

OR THE BEAR STARTS EATING YOU?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!? CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THAT?!?!!?!?

As most of you dudes know, Steams and I had an encounter with a black bear on our last camping trip (we were in the tent, the bear walked by so close that we could hear it breathing and then wandered off. We waited until it left, got out and screamed, and then laid petrified for the rest of the night). Now I read everything in regards to bears, leading me to this article: Canoeist stabs bear story

Check out the links. They'll scare you back to two wednesdays before last.

I have a few things that I'm really good at:
1. making peanut butter chocolate chip cookies
2. avoiding conflict
3. keeping secrets
4. pipetting small volumes
5. contracting diseases

I currently have strept throat. WELLL... I have strept throat and I'm recovering from an allergic reaction to penicillin. I've never had an allergic reaction to anything. For those who have yet to experience one, this is what happens, give or take anaphalactic shock, throat closing and death:
1. the skin under your eyes becomes red. Your eyelids swell.
2. all of the water in your body is withdrawn from your exterior surfaces, cactus-style. Your face shrinks 10x. It also itches.
3. You get hives and a rash on your back. It is very very itchy, but only in that one square centimetre where your fingers will not reach.

Despite my ailments, Stein and I ventured out to the Cookstown (?) Outlet mall today. Standard shopping trip... various wares to be boughten, browsing by lazy day Sunday shoppers, mysterious substance in air causing shoppers to cough and sputter, immediate evactuation, mall shut down. 0 Jack Bauers were sighted.

NEWS

1. Andy Sargent is coming next weekend (Jan. 27-31) AND therefore we're celebrating lippincott-style. On Saturday, the 28th. With you, our friends. Bring the appropriate wares.

2. The episode of ER that will be aired on Feb. 2 is about ALS, the disease of which I make a living working on. Ummmm, watch it? Maybe we can have a conversation about it? Actually FUNNY THAT I BROUGHT THAT UP: I do really want to talk about work sometime (not now, but soon)... I don't usually write about work because people yawn/roll their eyes when it comes up plus I've always disliked to hated my previous jobs. BUT now I don't care what you fuck faces think because I love what I'm doing and I'm excited and so I'm going to subject you guys to (potentially) long descriptions of the (potentially) boring [to you not me] details of my day to day existence!!! AND i'm only going to use run-on sentences and brackets and exclamation marks because that's how the thoughts flow through my brain when i'm excited!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey, you know when you're excited about one thing and then you think about something else that you're really excited about (ex. trip to eastern europe) and then all that energy synergizes to become an a-bomb of giddiness and euphoria? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

I wrote a really lame entry about very mundane things. Here's a summary:

************************************************************************

"i hate the rain because:

1. my pants drag and get wet
2. my wet pants leak into my shoes and make my socks wet
3. i hate socks
4. i hate wet socks the most. They are the worst."

*************************************************************************

"Sometimes when I stretch I say "stretch" really quietly and I don't notice that I do it."

*************************************************************************

Don't let this happen to you.

as per an email forwarded by andy mac:

ok

so, i don't really enjoy running around announcing my impending birthday, mostly because i'm not one to normally flaunt shameless self-promotion. but i am DEFINITELY the kind of person that enjoys a good party.

therefore, i believe as many people as possible should venture to the Dance Cave on saturday January 14th for beers and trouble-making excellence.

it's not like i expect any of you to rsvp or whatever, but if you have questions, feel free to send me an email and i'll be happy to explain the price of applicable beverages such as Labbat 50.

the plan will be to show up at the Dance Cave sometime after 11pm, and to drink till whenever the force us to leave.

if you want to swing by our place at 65 Crawford St. during the day, that's cool too.

anyway, i look forward to seeing as many of you as possible, and feel free to forward this to whomever you think should come.

so yeah, come, drink beers, dance, whatever.

peace out.

-brad cale

www.flickr.com More of Massausages' photos

Trip pictures. If you're muchos desirousus to see pictures of me in a bikini, move along friend as you will be sorely disappointed. I understand that a lot of these pictures don't mean anything to people without the explanation... but I'm too lazy to go into great detail right now. See me at the Lip if you would like the family slideshow-esque treatment. I hiked, kayacked, snorkled, went to Pearl Harbor, went on the ship where WWII ended (USS Missouri), climbed in the crater of an inactive volcano, spent a day in San Francisco and got a $700 travel voucher to fly anywhere with United Airlines for free. It was superb.

also: I was on the island where Jurassic Park was filmed

In regards to working all weekend:

A wise man once said,"UgggggggggmmmphnnnnnnnNNNNNnggggGGGgggg".

I HAVE A NEW JOB

I went for an interview today at the Centre for Research in Neurodegenerative Diseases. I was kind of nervous because I've never gone for an "official" interview before, having coasted through life up until this point. It turns out that I worried needlessly because 2 minutes into the interview I was offered the job. I'll be working on ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) in transgenic mice, which is acres more exciting than carbonic anhydrase. The best thing, however, is that this job doesn't interfere with my travel plans.... !!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO... today I bought a new pair of jeans that was marked down from $180 to $50 AND a new sweater that was marked down from $80 to $20!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO... i'm reading 'In Cold Blood' by Truman Capote and it's great!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M HAVING A FANTASTIC DAY

I've been working nonstop for the past few weeks. At night. On weekends. Early in the morning sometimes. Well this is where the line ends, my friends. The last fingernail has been clipped, the last potato chip has been eaten, the last shoe has been tied! I sit before you as a force de resistance against all night marking sessions and early morning prep reviews! Mutiny!!! Vive la hooooooooooooray!

too bad i can't mutiny against my guilty conscience. My parents made a comment the other night about how, despite changing jobs, my work hours are the same (all the time). So what.

but who cares. I'm already sick of talking about work. ok.

Speaking of my parents, my mom thinks that any time I mention a male name that boy attached to the name is my new boyfriend. For a long time she was convinced that I had a boyfriend and that I just wasn't telling her.

ok now i'll list some things that i like:
- wrapping my hands around a mug of hot water. I also like drinking hot water.
- Jamieson Vitamin C 'Tangy Orange' pills. One might say that they are the adult equivalent of flintsone vitamins.
- everything about christmas
- globes, especially if they are topographical. I also like maps.

I went to part of jess's lecture yesterday. I learned that there is this bacteria called Radio.... something. The literal translation of its name is "Radiation Party". Biology humor at its most subtle.

Jess had this dream that wayne gretzky was trying to impress everyone by surfing. No one was impressed because he was really bad and then his pants fell down. Ask her about it sometime.

Controversy!!!

I have very mixed feelings about suing in general, let alone suing your mother, but that's not the issue that rubs me the unfriendly way here. So they want to be able to sue expecting mothers for getting in car accidents but they want to word the legislation in such a way that will prevent mass suing for other potential prenatal infractions. The question that I want to know is why car accidents? Why not drinking and drug use? Fetal alcohol syndrome? Drug related mental and physical retardation? The outcome is the same or similar to fetal damage due to car accidents but the BLARING difference is that the mother chooses to abuse those substances BUT DOES NOT NECESSARILY choose to get in a car accident. It's analogous to being able to sue person A because you got sick after he accidently sneezed in your direction WHILE being unable to sue person B for stabbing you in the face. Well kind of, assuming that the stabber didn't face any other legal ramifications. Maybe there's more to the story that I just don't know about, but right now I conclude that there are flaws afoot.

In other news: our water switches from "lawsuit" hot to hypothermia cold every 20 seconds. Hot + cold = warm, yes that's true my scientific friends but hot + cold + shower = burnt flesh preserved in sheets of ice.

weekends

Today I slept in until 10:10 am. Coincidentally, I was also supposed to be in Missisausages giving a quiz at 10:10 am. It's funny now... kind of. I haven't been sleeping well for oh a week now so I guess this is a good sign in the sense that I'm not becoming an insomniac. Insomniacs are more likely to either kill themselves or kill others, soo everyone's safer now that i'm sleeping in and missing tutorials.

It's been a sunday of a day.

One of my students mentioned vampires in his lab report. Bonus marks?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhahahahhahahaha

I just got an email from Kirk Cameron. Refer:

Dear Fellow Co-Laborer,

Words cannot adequately express how privileged we are to partner with you in the fulfillment of the Great Commission. We have been in awe at all that God has accomplished through The Way of the Master and Living Waters Publications over the course of this past year, and we anticipate that even greater things are in store for 2006. We are grateful to know that you are faithfully serving at our side as we battle for the precious souls of men and women.

[blah blah blah send us money blah blah blah]

We thank you so much for your understanding and we ask for your continued prayers on our behalf.

Until the whole world hears,
The Way of the Master / Living Waters Publications

Jess, you stupid fuck.

jessica and i are having a subscription war, where the object is to subscribe the other person to as many online newsletters and magazines as possible. Today I received emails from:

1. weekly wisdom
2. self improvement letter
3. iVillage letter
4. anal philosopher letter
5. the option institute weekly letter
6. icp.new@gospal.com
7. the uterine fibroids society
8. Newsletter, the weekly newsletter

to her I say: i commend you in your use of a broad range of organization types. However, be assured that I will crush you on both qualitative and quantitative fronts.

I have Nepal on the the brain. If I can play my financial cards right I could spend 2 months there next fall. I'm pretty excited* so I hope that this doesn't turn into another pipe dream.

(*there is only one thing that scares me: "Women are still frequently viewed as subordinate and in some remote communities, families frequently sell their daughters into slavery in Indian brothels for about $700." eeeee. BUT the himalayas, OH MAN.)

In other travel news, Andy and I have put a little more definiton on our spring-time trip. We have decided that we would like to go to Greece, Italy, Austria, Hungary, Czech Republic, and Poland, roughly in that order. We were thinking that we'd go for a month, give or take a few days. So I was wondering:

1. Have any of you been to any of those countries (business or pleasure)? If YES (or if you know someone who has been), what would you say you liked/disliked about it? Any advice?

2. Those who have travelled through Europe, do you have any general travel advice (in regards to transportation, accomodation, customs etc etc)?

I'd like to know as much as possible from as many different sources as possible. Muchos thanksos.

I have more to say on the topic of international travel, however, now I must go and give students bean seeds and watch them swab bacteria on petri dishes.

Free cable is to us what cavities are to jessica's teeth - an occurance that keeps happening without explanation upon the part of the participants.

We have internet now.

Andy was here. We went to shows and film festival movies. Jessica tucked us in one night in her underwear thinking that we couldn't see her because it was dark. She was wrong. Fort No-Pants earns its reputation one drunken resident at a time.

Reviews:
- Estero - chain smoking, crack snorting, disappointing.
- Sufjan Stevens - angel voiced, eyes were moist.
- Bloc Party - scream and shout and have a fit; bloc party was ok; but the docks were shit.

I've had a large desire to:
1. learn to speak another language - I think that I could pick up french, since I can usually understand it when I'm reading it. My pronounciation sucks though, like BONJOURN and COMMENT TALLY VIEW type of stuff.
2. make french toast - eggs, milk, bread. Proportions? Andy?

ok, OUR REVOIR friends.

I have dust in my eyes. UTM has upped the amount of construction just in time for the fall semester to begin. Genius.

We moved and as a result we have felt the following emotions: excitment, relief, euphoria, giddiness, delight, joy, and arousal. I'm not sure about that last one, but Jess said that she likes our place so much that she's going to marry it and subsequently have kids with it. It was an awkward and uncomfortable conversation for me.

We don't have internet until september 18th, unfortunately. SO if you do manage to catch us online it's likely because we're at work or at the library. I encourage you to treasure these online conversations as there will be preciously few in the next couple of weeks.

I have a new job. I will be a TA for cell biology and intro to evolutionary biology at UTM. I wouldn't say that I'm exactly thrilled but I will never complain about having a job that pays my bills. In fact this part-time job pays the bills better than my full-time job over the summer. I plan to spend that extra money on lots and lots of things, perhaps shoes, perhaps dvds, perhaps things for my trips. I'm pretty excited to see where this materialistic wind will blow me, let me tell you.

Hey, did I tell you that I was in a golf tournament and that I won a prize for the longest women's drive? Weird, I know. I received one lunch bag. It's insulated.

That's it for now. Come and visit us. I guarantee that you'll be amused by our witty repartee and intrigued by our good looks. Also Andy Sargent is staying with us this weekend so come and see her.

bye.

i made chocolate cheesecake muffins but I just tasted them and they're not that great. I made banana loaf earlier this week. It had chocolate chips in it which are always a big hit.

Work is unmotivating. Somehow I wound up working on an enzyme kinetics project, which you would think would be difficult (it is) but apparently any one off the street can do it since that's about how (under)qualified I am. This, of course, is assuming that the regular street person has taken 2 or fewer university chemistry classes, 0 biochemistry classes AND/OR is not some 13-year-old Doogie Houser-esque chemistry prodigy.

my involvement in this project probably just means that i'm super smart.

I need a new job, not only because I am muchos desirous for one but also because it is fiscally imperative as of the beginning of September. I want to work in one of the research hospitals: Anyone know any Dr. Whosits or Dr. Whatshecalleds that are currently employed in said hospitals? Friends help friends out, it's in our blood.

Quick-time update

My sister and her fiance broke up but now they're back together. The summer, aptly named the season to 'Date your friends', has entered into its fourth month as a result of the coupling of my pals Joanne and Anders. I'm going to Hawaii in january. I've never been.

More science talk

I read the other day that scientists have found a soil bacteria that eats metal and craps out tiny wires that are 20 000x smaller than the human hair. They want to engineer them to make ridiculously small microchips, er, nanochips (?). Neato, sirs.

I also read, oh a while back now, that scientists are trying to make 'biojewelry', combining precious metals with human bone tissue. This means that you can order an engagement ring which could be a combo of gold and your future husband's bony material. WHO EVER THOUGHT THAT THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA!??!!? UNNECESSARY!! I mean who spends their hard-earned grant money on an idea that i'm guessing will not be marketable because it'll only appeal to a small fraction of the population. Am I wrong?

The library has become my paradise away from work. Never have I cherised the UTM library more.

Today I accidently poisoned the environment. I really hate when people treat me like I'm stupid, however, I hate it even more when I justify these actions by getting caught doing something really stupid. Maybe drink bottled water for a while, ok guys?

Jess, you'll apprectiate this: I ran into Cummins today and we chit-chatted and what not. He was telling me about his trip to Europe and then, during what I thought was mid-conversation, he said 'goodbye' and left. Ahahahaha. The pioneer of the socially acceptable abrupt goodbye. It was legendary.

friends,

i need you to utilize your tv-savviness to answer the following question:

What tv show used Billy Joel's 'You may be right' during its opening credits?

it may have been a cover of the song by some other non-billy joel containing band, i can't remember.